Favorite Tracy Jordan Quotes from season four of “30 Rock”

• And then your wife starts getting all mad because the roof won’t close and the bed that’s in the shape of your face is getting rained on?
• Liz Lemon, you booger face. I’m going to kill you with a bazooka.
• I will eat a bowl of cherries and some ghost meat in his honor.
• He’s Evil Tracy? Oh, he’s evil COMMA Tracy. Go on.
• I want a baby girl, Liz Lemon. I mean having a daughter is like going to the NBA All Star weekend. It changes you. Makes you want to take your wife to the doctor.
• I know it’s a girl, Liz Lemon, because I yelled Susan B. Anthony at the moment of conception.
• Can’t do it, Lee Lem. On Valentine’s Day, Angie and I rent a room with a heart shaped hot tub and cook chili in it. Then we take it to soup kitchen and that’s when it starts to get sexy!
• It’s like a black Barbie Doll in Arizona—nobody’s buying it.
• Of course not, the Aryan hates and fears the African man. As we so clearly saw in the Blade movies.
• Oh, I forgot to warn you about my dog, Tracy, Sr. I trained him to hate white people because, not to profile, but most ghosts are white.
• People don’t say that anymore. They say Surf Party USA.
• OK, but whoever she is needs to be someone as amazing as I am. I want to see a list of names. Like when they was looking for John McCain’s running mate. Hahaha. I’m kidding, this needs to be taken seriously.
• I’d rather be up on that stage all alone than be up there with someone whose resume has “black judge” on it 9 times.
  
  And the pièce de résistance…
  
  I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs! I watched a prostitute stab a clown! Our basketball hoop was a ribcage. A ribcage!…Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish!…All my life I’ve tried to forget the things I’ve seen. a crackhead breast-feeding a rat. A homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket on a third rail of the G train! The G train, Nermal!…I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom! I once bit into a burrito and there was a child’s shoe in it! I’ve seen a hooker eat a tire! A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s! The sewer people stole my skateboard! The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time! I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!